There are moments in life when you begin to shrink—not because you’ve outgrown yourself, but because someone once told you that who you are was too much, or too intense. You’re too emotional or too deep.
You were told your laughter was too loud, your silence too distant, and your feelings too complicated. And little by little, you started to wonder if maybe they were right.
You started to edit yourself. To soften your edges. To take up less space.
But here’s the truth you’ve needed all along: you weren’t too much—they just weren’t ready.
Not everyone will understand the weight of your heart. Not everyone is equipped to hold someone who feels deeply, loves fully, and shows up with all their soul.
That’s not a reflection of your worth. It’s a reflection of their readiness.
Some people simply haven’t done the work to meet someone at the level you live on. And that doesn’t mean you should dim your light to fit inside their shadow.
When Rejection Feels Like Proof That You’re Wrong
Being misunderstood hurts in a way few things do. When someone pulls away, when they say “you’re too much,” what they often mean is, I don’t know how to meet you here.
But when you’re already vulnerable, when your heart is wide open, it’s hard not to internalize that as rejection.
You start to believe that if you could just tone it down—be a little less passionate, a little less expressive, a little less you—maybe they’d stay.
But watering yourself down to make others comfortable only leaves you thirsty for your own truth.
You don’t need to be less—you need to be with people who see your depth and don’t flinch. The right ones will never ask you to become smaller to be loved.
Your Intensity Is Not a Flaw, It’s a Frequency
You love hard. You speak honestly. Even if you feel everything. That’s not a flaw—it’s your frequency.
And yes, it’s rare.
But rare doesn’t mean wrong. It means sacred.
Your emotional depth is a gift, not a burden. Your ability to care, to cry, to hold space, and to ask meaningful questions—that’s not something to apologize for. That’s something to honor.
Some people aren’t ready for the kind of connection you’re offering. Not because you’re wrong, but because they’re still afraid of going deeper.
They haven’t built the emotional muscle to sit in the silence, to stay during the storms, to face the parts of you that mirror the parts of themselves they haven’t yet healed.
And that’s not your responsibility to fix.
You Can Be Fully Yourself and Still Be Loved
Everyone was not supposed to like you. You were never meant to dilute your magic so others could digest it easily.
The right people will not only handle your “too much”—they’ll revere it. They’ll lean in. They’ll stay curious. It will not matter what temperature the water is when they meet you in the depths.
So stop shrinking. Stop apologizing for the way your heart moves.
You are not asking for too much—you are asking for honesty, depth, and reciprocity. And those are not unreasonable asks. They’re the foundation of any relationship worth keeping.
Let go of the people who couldn’t hold you. Wish them well and release the weight of their misunderstanding.
And make space for the ones who are on your level. The ones who won’t flinch at your fire.
If You’re Healing From Rejection, Start Here
Healing from emotional rejection—especially when it came from someone you loved—isn’t easy. But healing is not about proving your worth to them.
It’s about remembering your worth for yourself.
Here are a few gentle ways to begin:
- Affirm your truth. Speak it out loud: “I was not too much. I was real.” Say it until it feels less foreign and more like a coming home.
- Write the story from your side. Journal the full version, the one where you were brave enough to love with everything you had.
- Surround yourself with safe mirrors. People who reflect your value back to you, not because you’re flawless, but because you’re whole.
- Stop over-explaining. You don’t need to justify your feelings to anyone who makes you feel small for having them.
- Practice self-honoring choices. Choose people, places, and activities that affirm your full expression—not just the convenient parts.
You Deserve the Kind of Love That Feels Like Freedom
You were never too emotional. Too sensitive. Too complicated.
You were just asking to be met at your level, and that’s a brave, sacred thing. The people who couldn’t rise to meet you weren’t bad—they just weren’t ready.
But you are. Ready to be seen.
You’re ready to be understood. Ready to be loved without conditions.
So go where you are celebrated, not tolerated. Speak in your full voice. Feel in your full range. Love in your full capacity. The ones who are meant for you won’t ask you to become less. They’ll become more just to meet you there.
ᡣ𐭩 Love Always,
Kemi ᡣ𐭩
