There’s a quiet kind of grief in pretending to be okay when you’re not.
In offering half-smiles that don’t reach your eyes. In telling people “I’m fine” because you don’t want to be a burden.
You’ve learned how to show up even when you’re shattered. You’ve mastered the art of holding it together—for your family, your friends, your job.
But somewhere deep down, you’ve started to wonder: If I’m not strong, am I still lovable?
And the answer is: Yes. You are. Always.
You Were Never Meant to Earn Love Through Perfection
Love was never supposed to be a reward for keeping it together.
You don’t need to …
- perform strength to be deserving.
- hide your broken parts to be held.
- be healed to be loved.
You just need to be human. Messy. Complicated. In progress.
Think of all the times you showed up for someone you loved, even when they were falling apart. When they were moody, withdrawn, fragile. You didn’t love them less. You just wished they’d let you in. That’s what love is.
So why do we believe that we must be okay to be loved?
Somewhere along the way, many of us were taught to earn our worth through strength. Through independence. Through silence. To apologize for our emotions. To hide the tears and swallow the ache.
But all that does is teach us that vulnerability is shameful—and that couldn’t be further from the truth.
When Healing Doesn’t Look Like Progress
Healing is not linear. Some days you’ll wake up feeling light. Other days, the weight will sit on your chest before your feet even hit the floor.
Some mornings you’ll journal, meditate, go for a walk. Other days, it’s just an accomplishment to take a shower or eat something that isn’t cereal.
But none of that defines your worth.
Self-worth isn’t based on how well you’re doing today. It’s not measured by your productivity or your positivity. You’re not only lovable on the days when you’re glowing and grateful and full of light. You’re lovable on the dark days too.
On the weepy days. On the days when everything feels off and you can’t explain why.
And you don’t owe anyone an explanation for the waves you’re riding.
You Are Not Broken—You Are Becoming
I remember watching a friend go through a season of deep depression. She stopped answering calls. She lost interest in the things she used to love.
She’d smile, but her eyes were distant. When we finally talked, she said, “I just don’t want people to see me like this. I don’t want them to think I’m weak.”
But here’s the truth: she wasn’t weak—she was exhausted. She wasn’t failing—she was feeling. And in that, she was still worthy of love. Of support. Of softness.
We all go through seasons where our light dims. Where joy feels far. Where it takes everything in us to just exist.
And that’s not failure.
That’s being human. That’s living with a heart that still beats despite the heaviness.
And that’s also resilience, even when it doesn’t look brave.
Let This Be Your Reminder
You are not your bad day.You are not your mistakes.
And you are not your anxiety, your sadness, your messy room, or your missed calls.
You are…
- someone who is trying.
- someone who is still here.
- someone who wants to feel better, even if you don’t know how just yet.
And that alone makes you worthy.
If no one has told you lately:
- You are allowed to cry.
- You are allowed to not know what’s next.
- You are allowed to be loved through the storm—not just after it passes.
Love Doesn’t Wait For You To Be Okay
Real love—true, soul-deep love—meets you where you are.
It doesn’t …
- demand perfection.
- flinch at your scars.
- turn away when the smile fades.
It pulls up a chair next to your sadness and says, “You don’t have to go through this alone.”
So if you’re not okay today, that’s okay.
You’re still good. You’re still whole.
And you’re still worthy.
Not someday. Not after the healing. And not when you’re stronger.
Now.
ᡣ𐭩 Love Always,
Kemi ᡣ𐭩
